What do I want?

I want to build a home that is a sanctuary, a refuge from the chaos and darkness of the world. My home will be filled with all things that are good and edify the soul. The best books, musical instruments to be played by the children, art work that leads to introspection and inspiration: portraits of Edmund Dantes, Alyosha Karmazov, Jean Valjean and Javier, Jesus Christ, Marcus Aurelius.

I want to have a garden and a vineyard, and teach my children from a young age that you reap what you sow; I want to do seasonal activities that my family looks forward to each year, such as harvesting grapes, carving pumpkins, picking blackberries.

I want to sit by a crackling fireplace while it snows outside on a cold, dark night, reading my children the best Christmas stories. I want to make it a tradition to read Dostoyevsky's Christmas Story, The Heavenly Christmas Tree, every Christmas eve, so my children are reminded that it's a gift to have a bed to sleep on, food to eat, and loving parents. I want to bake and decorate Christmas cookies every December and deliver them to different people and sing Christmas carols and play musical instruments.

I want to coach my children in sports, and I want to be a light to their teammates, the way my dad always was to my teammates growing up.

I want to live a life that inspires myself and others to always remember that it is "never too late to be what you might have been".

I want to be a force of love to those around me, and I hope to lead my wife and children in such a way that I can be proud.

I want to strive for all that is good, which means I will let go of that which is bad. I want to be a light to others, and I wish to do so with meekness and humility, as would Alyosha.

This… This is what I want, and this is who I wish to be.